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It Is Time To Go: A Song for My Miscarried Babies

Updated: Apr 1, 2020

It Is Time To Go - A piano piece composed and dedicated to my three miscarried babies.

On, October 15, 2015, I felt extremely vulnerable after sharing a piano piece I composed and dedicated to the three babies I miscarried, with my friends and family. The title of the piece is called, It Is Time To Go. The vulnerability stemmed from my lifetime struggle with performance anxiety and my tendency to hide one of the most important gifts that lit me up from the inside out.

I began composing this piece almost ten years before I was even married and started having children. It began as a simple melody that I enjoyed playing while having fun at the piano. I kept adding small sections to this piece over a ten-year period, never writing anything down, just memorizing each new section as I discovered it. I never knew what the piece was about, whom it was for, or what the title was. Eventually this caused me to become stuck...I couldn't figure out how to further develop this piece.

After doing a meditation 10 years later, I realized I had a whole bunch of unresolved grief surrounding the three babies I miscarried. It was at this point that I finally realized I had a story for my composition.

Soon after, while playing and adding to my composition, I could hear the words, "It Is Time To Go". This became a rhythmic motive and the title for my piece. When this happened, my block was uncovered and the musical ideas began to flow.

Because I struggled with performance anxiety my entire life, creating and posting this video left me feeling extremely vulnerable. But, it is also allowed me to step out of my comfort zone and confront my fears, in hopes that my fears would soon be replaced with love and joy. I've since revised this piece and hope that the next step will be to record it and put it to sheet music.

If you are aware of the 7 Chakras, it is interesting that this piece was composed in the key of a minor. The key of A correlates with the Third Eye Chakra, which is the energy centre for intuition and foresight. This is significant because I began composing this piece even before I was married and tried to start a family. It's interesting how my original composition began with the melody playing in three different voices. Ten years later, these three voices would represent the babies I miscarried.

Today, three years after I posted the above video, I'm excited to see how much I've changed! After forcing myself outside of my comfort zone, I'm playing piano in public now without the performance anxiety that plagued me for years before.

I'm nurturing my need for musical expression, and allowing myself to improvise at the piano and allow my soul to speak through music. This has led to another composition that's in the works. This song expresses my love and grief for the loss of our two doggies that passed away last year.

A new music modality is coming through for me. It combines my gifts of clairaudience, Reiki energy healing and my love for playing and composing music. I will continue to nurture this new modality so it may grow and develop into whatever it is suppose to become. And when I'm ready, I look forward to sharing it with you soon!

But for now, I honour where I am, where I came from and where I am going. Therefore, today, March 20, 2019, the first day of spring and the day of the spring equinox, I am happy to announce the launch of my new website:

May the energy of this day, the first day of spring, allow me to plant the seeds that will help grow my new business, Healing with Harmony.

"To the babies I lost...You will live in my heart forever and I will celebrate our love through music"

With much gratitude and love,

Shannon Wilson Phillips BSW

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